3 months ago I handled a test tube marred with dried blood. The blood was being sent for CD4 counts, and was infected with HIV. I had a small open cut on the end of one finger... meaning there was a chance I was infected. It was my fault. I should have been wearing gloves.
So yesterday I got tested for HIV. In Ndawana HIV testing is not quite the same as it is in Canada. In Canada everything feels somehow detached: sterile, impersonal, and scary. In Ndawana, everything feels very real: it is dirty, personally invasive, and scary. There is a thin layer of dust covering everything. The layers of grime seems to accumulate instantly. The tester is always someone you know... in a town of 5000 people you know everyone... In my case it was Nontsikilelo, one of the ladies I've been working with for the last 4 months. Rather than send tests away to a lab, and have worrisome results relayed over the phone, in Ndawana you get to watch the HIV counsellor do the test. They explain to you how the test works. Your blood is placed on a small test tab, along with a buffer. The solution runs the length of the tab, covering two test areas. If there is a line in one test area you are HIV negative. If there are lines in both areas, you are HIV positive. It takes about 5 minutes. So for 5 minutes you have to make small talk in order to keep your mind off the test you are watching... to keep yourself from jumping to conclusions.
I'm sure the chances of me having been infected by the blood on that test tube were astronomically low... but since the van I was driving got hit by lightning last month I've stopped dismissing unlikely as impossible.
I lucked out. I only got one line. HIV negative.